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York Region Finals
9/29/2008

So this is it. The end of the 2008 season. It’s September. The air is a bit crisper, the leaves are changing colour and warm up jackets are a must.

Looking back, the regular season could be described in one word: Painful. Moral was low and so were expectations. Here were some of the quotes early on in the season:

“@!#!@!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@!!%!%^!!!”- Sean Park (after winning a game)
“I’M GONNA FREAKING RETIRE! I HATE SOFTBALL!”- Hugo Yoon
“I HATE (being) SOFT PAUL AND SOFTBALL!!”- Paul Ahn
“I HATE BEING CHINESE!”- Mike Ho (before obtaining his Honorary Korean Citizenship)
“I HATE GIRLS!”- Claudio Yoon

Yeah, it was that bad. The future was looking sour in the early stages of the season. That all changed for the playoffs.

Knocking out the 3rd and 1st place teams, Genesis was heading into the finals with momentum. Many considered the team as the darkhorse that could pull the upset against the 2nd seed Anthony’s Small Engines for the York Region Championship.

Genesis was looking to accomplishing what few expansion teams can do. Win a championship in their first year.

After winning the 1st game with ease, Genesis seemed like they were in control to take game 2. They broke down for 1 inning and that was the deciding factor plus Sean Park being selfish.

“@!#!@!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@!!%!%^!!!”- Sean Park
“@!#!@!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@!!%!%^!!!”- Rest of the Team

With teams backs up against the wall in Game 3, Genesis and Anthony’s Small Engine (ASE) were going back and forth each inning answering each other's scores. It was a real nail biter till Genesis broke out and mercied ASE with 10 runs in one inning. The game suddenly got a lot quieter and it seemed like the Small Engine ran out of gas and stalled.

“Clutch” was the only word to describe the hitting displayed by Genesis who were determined to win it and complete the upset.

With a ground out to the 2nd baseman Shyn, the Genesis team is crowned 2008 YRL Men’s Slo Pitch CHAMPS!

For his efforts, Sean Park then got jizzed on with a cold shower during the celebrations.

“@!#!@!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@!!%!%^!!!”- Sean Park

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York Region Playoffs
9/23/2008

After crushing the Mariners in game 3 action the Genesis team were looking like the Genesis team from Niagara and they were carrying that momentum into their series against the No.1 seed Crank. Past matches against Crank were not in Genesis favour, Crank was leading the series 3-1 and were obvious heavy favorites to win the York Region title again.

Game 1 featured a high flying offence from both teams. The 4 homerun limit was quickly maxed out and the score sheets were dripping with ink. However the difference here was the Genesis team had more men on base to score thanks to shotty defence of Crank. The Crank players had a different explanation though

“That Stealth is JUICED! Theres no way that Stealth can defeat the all mighty OG Extended!! RARRR!!” explained Crank’s Captain aka Captain Cranky.

“Holy shit, it’s so obvious that bats been altered, these guys are what like 5’2 120pds soaking wet, theres no way they should be putting it over that fence. I mean the last time we played these guys we were playing the 150’ line. And why the hell do they have Kung Fu Panda playing Short Stop. The hell, whats up with that ugly orange visor?!?!”

Crank were mercied in Game 1.

Facing elimination, the Crank team was too busy blaming the ‘juiced’ Genesis bats rather than their KCSA Young Nak Z type defence. With Kung Fu Panda and the ugly orange visor on the Genesis team, the battle of the leather was clearly being won by Genesis and the Genesis team mercied Crank in Game 2 with a walk off 2 run shot by Claudio Yoon. Wtf? Did I just write Claudio Yoon and walk off in the same sentence??? Ok…..maybe that Stealth is juiced after all

The Genesis team will be facing the No.2 seed Anthony’s Small Engines in the Finals this Sunday at Milliken in another best of 3. Genesis split the series 1-1 during regular season play.

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Provincials Men's D
9/16/2008

With a last minute bump from SPN, the Genesis team had a new challenge to face. Play Men's D ball. Playing E ball for the past 2 years, the move up will be a big test for the team.

"3 games and we're out" predicted saum-choon Eric Won.

With little or no expectations, the Genesis team manage their first victory in Men's D againest the Generals in poor conditions.

As the weather slowly got better so did the Genesis team. The team went 2-1 in the round robins and manage to finish 1st in their pod. This was beyond anyone's expectation. Think of Korea's 2002 World Cup run.

After many visits to the nudity bar and the new found confidence during the round robin, the sky was limit and they were oh so close finishing their Cinderella run during this tourney.

The clock struck 12 during the semi finals againest last year National Finalist, The Bad News Bears. The Genesis offence couldn't muster more than 3 runs during that game and the team finally ran out of gas.

The Genesis team offically ranked 4th in Men's D competition thanks to their visits to the nudity bar and team bonding during the tournament.

It was amazing how each player on the team played a crucial role towards the teams' success.

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Playoffs
9/04/2008

The regular season is done. The Genesis Softball Team (GST pay your taxes!) performance was like the weather this year. It could be beautiful and sunny one day then crappy and wet the day after.

"Theres only 1 solution to the inconsistency" said Goach Paul

"Baseball pants" said Hugo Yoon

The Genesis team will have baseball pants for the playoffs. While there was a minor glitch in the shipment and recieving of these pants the Genesis team has something to look foward to if they can make the next round.

"Baseball Pants!!" exclaimed Hugo Yoon

After comparing themselves with many of the elite softball teams around the GTA. Coach Yoon and Ahn concluded that the only thing missing from the Genesis Softball Team (GST! 7%!!! PAY IT!) was baseball pants. Genesis Left Centre Claudio Yoon agreed.

"When I look at a softball player, I don't care what kinda glove he has or what his batting stance is. I only look from the waist down cause I've been down there with alot of different men. It's the pants. The pants make the player." said Claudio Yoon.

"I mean look at Goach Paul. Look at the Goach!! I can see the qualities of a good Goach just because of the pants!! It makes me hard! I mean play hard!!." explained Claudio.

"It would be a huge dissappointment if the whole team doesn't get to play in baseball pants, so it'll be important to get the first series under their gleaming new white* (*now navy)belts. " said Goach Paul in his new pants.

So there it is. The Genesis Softball Team (GST! CASH THAT $75 Cheque!!) has another thing to play for in the playoffs: "To wear their new baseball pants for another series."

The Genesis team will be facing The Mariners next Wednesday in playoff action. The Genesis team split the regular season games againest the Mariners and were outscored 52-51. Any rookie odds maker would say that this wil be a coin flip match but a veteran gambler would bet on Genesis cause of the cooler looking pants.

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Week 5- Genesis vs Wak
6/03/2008

Leno- After an embarassing Week 4 the Genesis team took a much needed break by skipping out on the May 31st Tournament.

Week 5 featured the pitching debut of Geoff Yu who got lit up like the Victoria Day weekend. But Geoff helped his own cause by scoring 7 times, driving in 6 RBI's and having an OB% above .800. He also got support from the entire Genesis cast who seem to find their swing, combining for a team avg of above .675.

The Genesis team won the first game convincingly 22-15.

The second game was about perserverance. Finding themselves trailing for most of the game, the Genesis team found themselves right back into the thick of things with some clutch hitting by Claudio Yoon who hit the teams 1st grand slam of the season. Some witnesses said it was the wind that carried his high pop fly over the fence but Claudio disagrees.

"You know, man sex helped me develop my core muscles. It really loosened up my mouth and neck and strengthened my bum and hips. It really helped my swing and made my partner happy. I'm planning to release an intstructional training DVD next year, you can order it from my personal website. Check it out: www.ilikeballs.cum"

In the second game last inning, the Genesis team came back with 4 runs to tie the game. With 2 outs bases loaded the game was left in Noah Suh's hands. With a 2-1 pitch Noah ripped the ball foul along the 3rd base line. Gut Wrenching! The team held it's breath with a 2-2 count. Noah ripped the ball at the 3rd baseman who just managed to keep the ball in front him and touch the 3rd base to end the game tied 22-22.

3- Star Rating:
Claudio "www.ilikeballs.cum" Yoon: 9/10 9 RBI's 2 HR incl 1 Grand Salami in his ass
Geoff Yu: 8.6/10 6 RBI's 1 IF HR 1 Triple ERA of 15.00
Daniel Lee 8.5/10 6 RBI's 1 HR and sound defence

Team Avg: 8.0/10 An excellent example of small and long ball versus a team that likes the long ball.

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Week 4- Genesis Vs. Crank
5/27/2008

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3- Star Rating:
Toan "DOAN" Nguyen 8.7/10
Claudio "I like Guys" Yoon 7.9/10
Tie Geoff Yu and Eric Won 7.7/10

Team Avg: 6.3/10 Defence was decent but I think people were burnt out so the offence didn't really get going.

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Week - 3 Genesis Vs. The Herd
5/22/2008

Headwaters- It was a rainy day in Genesisville with the Genesis team going into week 3 with a 1-3 record. The team was doing some soul searching before the game going against another 1-3 team The Herd.

"Either pull to .500 or find themselves limp into last place like a 90 yr old's goach"

With 2 guys named Eric Shyn on the team, Genesis can't go limp or even flaccid. With a poke here and a poke there, it was a matter of time before the money shot came and it came 3 times courtesy of Shyn.

Good offence doesn't mean much without good defence. The defence was simply inspired after Jay Yoon decided to test the stability of the fence with a rather acrobatic crash into the fence fake catch to hold up the runners from scoring. Not to be outdone, Noah followed suit performing a fetus feint catch which he swear he was close catching but witnesses disagree.

All in all, it was just a rock hard performance by the duo of Eric Shyn who stuck it to em with a long 34" stick.

3 Stars Rankings:
Shyn Huh 8.5/10 3 HR's 2 out of the park 1 IF HR
Eric Won 8.0/10 Clutch hits which started it all.
Jason Yoon 7.5/10 The official 'Fence Support Tester'

Team Avg: 8.5/10 This team is on fire

Record heading into week 3: 3-3-0

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Week - 2 Genesis Vs. Pirates
5/22/2008

Ashton Meadows- After going 1-1 against the Dirty Boys last week, the Genesis team was looking to rebound against the Pirates. The tone was set with a routine ground ball going under the LC glove of Claudio Yoon and that was the start of the domino effect. The only positive tone was by a man named Toan (nicknamed 'DOAN' which means 'MONEY' in Korean) who proved to be the spark plug for any type of rally that night. Toan who recently signed a multi year contract with Calvary and was a Vietnamese refugee before Genesis adopted his ass had these words after game.

"Watch out ladies, you all gonna get Hepatitis V in 2008!!" while rubbing his nipples and wearing his jock over his nose sounding like darth vadar.

"There ain't no cure for Hepatitis's V! It'll start with severe fever between the legs! Then you feel some spasms in your back!! Then you'll just have to scream in a orgasmic ecstasy OHHHHHHH~~~~ HEPATITIS V~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sUCKAH~~~~~~~~"

Back to the game, the Genesis team was facing a very good hitting Pirates team who seem to go through the batting order twice per an inning. The first game wasn't pretty with most of the team not hitting and making small errors defensively. The team tried to put together any type of rally but it sputtered especially when Shyn struck out looking at 3 straight pitches and Jay Yoon fouling out in 4 pitches bottom of the 7th bases loaded.

Goach Paul decided to shake up the line up abit for the 2nd game but in the end the team lost by 20-24. Small errors costed them the game.

Hopefully this lesson will fuel their hunger against Ward and Patch on Friday and get a good jump start for the East Point League by going 2-0.

3 Stars Rankings:
Toan "DOAN" Nguyen 8.5/10 Almost perfect
Hugo Yoon 7.5/10 Had a relatively solid day with the bat
Tied between Mike Ho 7/10 and Daniel 'Manny' Lee 7/10 Who had some gift wrapped hits

Team Avg: 5.8/10 Too many errors and the bats were flat like a 10 yr old chinese girl who got stung by a bee and a mosquito. One on each chest.

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